My step-daughter is 9 and she seems to change her mind each week on what she's into. We went through a bout of gymnastics-fantastics...We bought the leotards, we spent weekend at practice... she just didn't feel confident doing it. One day she just decided she didn't actually like gymnastics much at all. Her confidence was shot and she was over it. #somuchforthat
So, when I had the opportunity to take her to horse-riding lessons at ARE, I'll admit, I was a little nervous that we would have a replay of the last experience. Here, you can tell how unsure and nervous she is. This is right before our first lesson.
How a lesson starts
What I thought was really special is that Holly has her students pay homage to the horse both before and after the lesson. She says it is important to honor the horse and therefore her students begin their lessons by grooming the horse.
As you can see, at this point Payton was still super uncertain about the whole gig. While Payton brushed, Holly talked a bit about horses and the first lesson learned was, "a horse feels what you feel." In this moment, something changed. Payton garnered some emotional recognition and realized that she felt- you guess it- nervous and that in turn, she may be making the horse nervous. From here, I watched Payton morph.
The Art of Distraction
Holly then had Payton mount the horse. She immediately clenched up. However, she didn't stay in this super tense state for long because Holly jumped right into exercises that are designed to distract the nerves, make things fun and help the rider activate their core through balance. Holly had Payton do air plane arms and rotate, look at the sky, look to the side... etc. As Payton started to follow the directions I could see her shoulders lower and she became less tense. I even caught a glimpse of a grin.
The First Ride
Holly took Payton on a walk through the obstacle course, showing her the area and allowing her to get familiar. This was no ordinary walk-and-tour however. She had built games into the experience. At different points in the course, there are knick knacks and toys hidden in the trees. Payton got so excited finding "Mr.Crab" and the fairies in the trees that she ALMOST forgot she was riding a horse. Holly continued to talk Payton through the whole experience and I half-thought that it was going in one ear and out the other... but it wasn't. When the lesson was over Payton was sad to end. She bore a wide grin and I don't know that I had ever seen her look so confident and proud of herself. She rode a horse! A big tall, horse! The moment we headed to the car, she was asking about the next time we were coming back. Like I said, I thought that the things Holly was saying may have gone in one ear and out the other... until I asked her what she learned and she stated, "What I learned is that a horse feels what you feel, so it's really important that you stay calm so they feel calm." I was flabberghasted... such a wise thing to say and also, it meant she had paid attention. I was really proud. We planned to come back in a couple weeks for the next lesson and in that two week span between... that is ALL Payton talked about.
A Second Time
Payton did not look the same the second-go-round. She nearly ran to the pen and couldn't wait to see Ms. Holly and Buck again. She even, unknown to me, had drawn Ms. Holly a picture and excitedly handed her the picture she had drew of Billy Bear, one of Ms. Holly's horses. As you can see here... she approached the whole lesson with a new air of confidence. Rather than being unsure of herself she smiled and was more than ready to jump back in the saddle. (Pun fully intended.)
Next it was time to get the helmet on which meant that the ride was fast approaching. You can see on her face here how determined she is to do well.
The second lesson was even better than the first. This time, Payton, Holly and Buck entered the round pen and began to play some games together. The title of the game was "Up/Down" (cleverly named by Payton herself.) In this game, Payton would have to put her arms up and out airplane-style and activate her core to stand up in the stirrups. She then had to continue to keep her balance through core activation and also use her leg muscles to slowly lower herself down back into the saddle. (No plopping.) At first, Payton struggled with mind-body connection and struggled to keep a flat back.... By the end of the session she had a better sense of her body and was responding to feedback and able to maintain a flat back. It was a full 180 degree difference in a matter of 30 minutes.
At the end of the session, Payton reached out to pet Buck on the face, something we absolutely terrified of doing in the first session. She had barely gotten off the horse and was already asking me when the next lesson is. She now is telling me that she wants to change her bedroom theme to horses. I don't see a defeated child. I see a motivated one, willing to grow in her understanding of herself and of horses. I see a kid confident in their ability to learn and I don't know that we would be seeing such positive growth if it weren't for the way Holly handles her lessons. I can't say enough about the experience and as a therapist, can see so many mental benefits for any child who may partake. We will be coming regularly and I guess now I need to go find some horse-themed bedroom decor.
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